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Parenting FAIL Friday: Is she…twerking?

I love Smush so dang much. She is zany and loving and silly and in a world all her own. Beyond the whole break-all-the-things issue she seems to have, our only current problem is that for the life of me, I cannot get her to understand the concept of a “stranger.”

Since birth, she has been so ridiculously happy and friendly. Grocery shopping took forever because I kept having to wrangle my children, much like a sheep dog wrangles sheep. Only with produce involved. 

But also because she would wave and bat those ridiculously long eye lashes at every single person who walked by. I figured she would grow out of this. I was wrong.

Around 2 years old, she suddenly yelled in said grocery store, “Stop! Go back to the other side!” When I asked why, she said, “Because there was an old man! He’s my friend. I need to say hi.” Oh. Of course.

The Nerd and I actually kind of enjoy this. She spreads smiles and sunshine to passersby all the time, and I super loved that. Until this summer.

Setting: A family festival for children with cancer. In attendance were patients and families, med school students, a professor, a magician, and some other awesome people.

(Side note: My life-long dream has always been to work in medicine. You’ll see why that’s relevant in a bit.)

The kids had lined up to hit a pinata, and I noticed Smush wasn’t with us. I didn’t panic, because she had been hanging out all day with Goo’s buddy – a first year med student who hangs with Goo at every appointment – to help Goo, and to learn about this road from the family’s point of view. BRILLIANT PROGRAM.

Me: Buddy, is Smush with you?

Buddy: No. I thought she went to the pinata.

Me: Sigh. Nerd! Nerd! Is Smush with you??

Nerd: No. I thought she was with you.

Me: *Scanning area. I see a large group of med students standing in a circle, obviously staring at something in the middle.* I approach the circle.

Med student: She’s over here! Your daughter’s over here.

Me: Oh thank you! *enters circle*

Me: Oh for the love of all that is good and holy – WHAT is she doing?

And there I found my adorable, virtuous 3-year-old. Bent over, hands on the ground, moving her little heiny back and forth, giggling with glee at the large audience she had amassed.

Me, to nearby student: Is she…twerking?

(If you don’t know what twerking is, just Google “Miley Cyrus twerking.” And then get a therapist for what you are about to see.)

The students erupted in laughter. I hanged my head in shame as they would undoubtedly assume she learned that from me. Or from some horrific music video I let her watch.

I picked her up, brought her over to the pinata, and informed the Nerd that his daughter had been twerking in the middle of a crowd of people. 

I can see it now. After years of waiting, working, studying and praying, I make it to a med school interview.

The interviewer promptly says, “Oh hey! You’re that mom whose toddler was twerking in public! I remember you.”

I think we can kiss that dream goodbye. 

About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

7 responses »

  1. I think we have the same daughter!!! My almost 5 year old would do just this…doesn’t matter where we are….grocery store, shopping mall, dentist, carnival….she gets down with her bad self and doesn’t care who is watching and she alway says hi to everyone just like your daughter! I can’t wait til teenagerhood! NOT! Have a good day and I am glad you guys are almost ready to say goodbye to cancer forever!!! : )

  2. So hilarious Beth, such a sweetheart she is! God bless you all!

  3. What’s that rule? Dance like nobody’s watching? She’s got it goin’ on!

  4. Too funny! I am sure she made a lot of people smile! 😉


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