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The universe is against me. Also, I’m crazy.

I quit.

I texted that to my husband this morning. “I quit.”

There are so many reasons for this. My kid has cancer. There are other health issues in the family that we’re dealing with. Financially, well, let’s not talk about that. It will literally take me 65 years to pay off my student loans from the degree that has done me virtually no good. I love knowing scientific names for the muscles. Was it worth a $120,000 education? Debatable. It’s also super helpful that the Nerd still hasn’t gotten the raise he was promised from LAST year. I stress about leaving an inheritance for my children, even though I’m 30, because my mom died when I was 10 and right now they’d inherit a nice blender and not much else. My mother-in-law – who was a seriously kick butt lady – passed away a few weeks ago. In 30 years, that’s the second time I’ve had to say goodbye to an incredible woman I loved and knew as, “Mom.”

But here’s the real kicker. My stress level reached a point where I wasn’t sleeping. I often found myself feeling my heart racing as I worried about chemo/weight loss/vomiting/paying the registration on the cars/money drama/failing at life in general.

And then, the fruit flies came.

Male (left) and female D. melanogaster

What most people see.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Over the summer, we got fruit flies. This may or may not be directly related to the fact that my children “throw away” their food in places like under the sofa, between the cushions, and behind their dresser.

I still haven’t gotten rid of them. There is no food out. We made a little vinegar trap I found on Pinterest. I cleaned everything – EVERYTHING. You guys, I pulled out the refrigerator and stove and mopped the floor underneath. That makes 3 times this year that I’ve done that. Do I get a prize? I feel like I should get a prize.

Anyway. I CAN. NOT. get rid of them. No matter what I do, they come back. And then I stand in the kitchen trying to make chicken enchiladas with mango salsa while pausing every two seconds to kill a flying thing and I stop and think that this is why people start to hear voices.

If a study was done on the history of individuals who have had nervous breakdowns, I’m pretty sure they all battled fruit flies.

I’ve worked hard at not being a loser at life. I never smoked. I never drank until I had kids. I obey the law. I was always an honor student. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Biology. And yet, no matter how hard I try, I can’t get anywhere. All of this is clearly confirmed by my absolute need for a clean house that is pest free, and my complete and utter inability to do that. THAT’S ALL I WANT. I’m not asking for a 6-figure income. I’m not asking for a McMansion with a manicured lawn. I’m not even asking for a minivan that doesn’t smell strangely of rotten milk and goldfish. I just want a clean house, and the permanent extinction of Drosophila melanogaster.

What is *actually* invading the house.

I’m not losing sleep because my baby has cancer. She’s kicking its butt and we have less than 3 months left of treatment. I’m not losing sleep because of money. We’ve never been homeless, and we always figure out a way to get by.

But the fruit flies?

They’ve done me in. They’re the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

Remember when I talked about delayed-onset crazy? I think this is related to that.

You’ll see that on my tomb stone: She fought long and hard, until the fruit flies came.

I’m officially certifiable.

About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

10 responses »

  1. I’m praying for you sista!! Hope your kids are doing well with the beginning of the school year.

  2. Hi! So sorry to hear this! I got fruit flies too and they drove me crazy- still have a few and I lose it too and am obsessive about them and hate them!! I’ve googled fruit fly nets, traps, etc! 1 thing that is semi working is a disposable see through cup with one inch of apple cider vinegar – add a drop or 2 of dishwashing liquid soap.

    The funnel trap didn’t work for me- i caught like 2 flies!!! The cup soap one caught @least 10- first it looks like its not going to work and the flies just hovered around and I impatiently threw it out but tried again the next day and when you leave it overnight for couple days- it actually worked.

    The flies initially started in my trash can after a vacation they were waiting for us when we got home- gross.

    Also I’ve been freezing my fruit trash in freezer and throw it out day of trash.

    Hope this helps! Nothing worked except this cup idea- the funnel cup didn’t do jack!

    Reem Faruqi Sent from my iPhone

  3. Fruit flies are smart. They won’t settle for a little vinegar. They like wine. Red wine.

  4. Wow! What is actually invading your house is going to give me nightmares! 🙂 I understand how your feeling, if I get a few ants in my house I go crazy, I can’t stand them. Actually we have had those nasty fruit flies in the Bethel cafe, Frances had me put a banana peel in a Styrofoam cup and cover it with plastic wrap and poke holes in it and just set it in a corner somewhere. We still had a few last weekend, I’ll find out Sunday if they are still hanging out in there. If so, I will try the banana thing again. You just keep fighting girl, they will be gone soon, maybe with the cooler weather they will move on. Keep writing, that should keep your stress level down. I will be praying for you though. 🙂

  5. It’s OK to go crazy. You’ll go insane if you don’t. 🙂

  6. I second the banana peel trap. They LOVE banana peels and are too stupid to fly back out of the tightly wound, taped cone. (This banana peel love is why my Mom insists on putting banana peels in the freezer until trash day…I haven’t committed to that yet, though). I caught a gazillion! What I did then was take the entire trap outside and took out the cone and just shook it out until there were no more flies. They flew away (unharmed) and I put a new peel in and started again. They were gone in about 24 hours. Good luck, Sister!

  7. I am so psycho over flies – I want one of those tennis racket looking contraptions that you waive maniacally in the air while the loveliest of echoes: snap, fry, and sizzle permeate the atmosphere : >

  8. Fruit flies invaded my house for more than a month last year. Stick fly strips were quite effective.

  9. Hey Sister is name as well as in Christ. It sounds to me like you are trying to do God’s job. If you really want to make Him laugh…Tell him your plans! I know it sound cliché but it is so true…You need to stop trying to be in control. Let go and let God do it. You know he is sooooooo much wiser for you. Plus he has the inside scoop on what your life is suppose to be. Try this…when you feel that you have reached your cracking point…drop to your knees and start praising our all powerful and perfect God. Then start thanking him for the many blessings in your life. Things will change quickly(-:. From another Amy Little who had to learn the hard way! I will say a prayer for you to wrap this simple principle around your life. He even care that you are fighting fruit flies! Pray about EVERYTHING. Keep an open line of communication with the Big Guy and you can’t go wrong! Love in Christ, Amy


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