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Hell on earth.

We aren’t sleeping. She’s in too much pain. Every day is one more test to determine what I already know: they need to kill this thing. I’ve seen Smush once in 10 days. Punkin twice. I have never felt so utterly helpless. All my babies need me, and I can’t help any of them.

I want to trade places with her. I want to take all her pain and suffering. And I can’t touch it.

Screw cancer. She’s gonna beat this with a vengeance.


About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

8 responses »

  1. I have no words of wisdom for you because I am a mom who has never had to deal with something so horrible, and I know no words will truly provide any comfort to you. That being said, my heart breaks for you and my thoughts and prayers have been with you each and every day. You, through your words and true talent for writing and humor, have made your little ones a part of my life….. You have touched so many moms with your life, hoping that we can do a little to help you. I pray that Goo can get through this with as little pain as possible and that you find the strength you need to get through this horrible ordeal.

  2. I am so sorry to hear about all that is happening with your precious Goo. I haven’t seen her in so long but right now i just want to give you all hugs and kisses. She WILL beat this thing is God’s name. I’m praying for you, Goo and your family. I can see that you both are so strong. I love you all so much! I wish there was something i could do to help. I had planned to get my hair cut today, but now I’m making the decision to donate it to Locks of Love in honor of your daughter.

    • Friend of a friend here, chiming in – you can ALSO have people pledge on your head through St. Baldrick’s and all the money will go directly to research of childhood cancers. They are an amazing organization and it is a chance for you to do twice as much good – once with the money, once with the hair to Locks of Love. You are already a special person for donating your hair 🙂
      And I am sending all my best thoughts to your family for your daughter’s recovery.

  3. So very sorry for all the pain, God is watching over you, and yes!!!!, with a vengeance it will be killed. If there is anything I can do please don’t hesitate to ask. Praying!!!!!

  4. God will keep you. His love and healing is not conditional on your doing everything right. God loves Goo, even more than you. He is with you and your whole family. He will not leave you. Do your best, but know God is working it all out, one day at a time. We continue to lift you up. Love you. Barbara

  5. My heart hurts for you. I love your blog and when I first stumbled upon this wonderful, hilarious blog and read all about Goo, I told my mom that she had to read this too. Goo is my identical twin from when I was little. I got goosebumps and tears when I read your post ‘Here Our Story Changes’. I prayed for her immediately. I have been praying since. I hope in the days to come you find strength and comfort and love that you and your family need right now. And I hope Goo uses her full-of-life-no-obstacles-will-get-in-my-way attitude to fight this thing.
    – A random, childless, newly wed from Florida (that’s how great you and your family are! I have NO children, and I just just got married, yet I check your blog daily)

  6. I’m Sorry you feel so helpless… but don’t let it make you feel defeated! The power of prayer and positive thinking can do wonders.

    Erin in Nova Scotia


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