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Sometimes kids are a little too honest. And scary.

The other day I had the pleasure of babysitting a friend’s two youngest kids: J, a 5-year-old little boy, and M, a 3-year-old little girl. Play dates are fabulous because they generally keep my kids occupied for more than 2 minutes and I can actually do things like pee without opening the door to find Chernobyl in my living room.

I had them pretty much all day without incident. They ate lunch without fussing. They played without fighting (for the most part), and Goo gets super excited to have friends over.

At pick-up time, the mom sent one of the older brothers in to get them. He’s Punkin’s age (8ish). When he got them, we had a conversations that was totally adorable. And then a little terrifying.

Big Bro: How were they?

Me: (how cute is he? all grown up) They were great. The kids had a blast.

Big Bro: Really?

Me (laughing): Yes, really. They played 400 rounds of hide and seek, watched some cartoons, played with toys. They were great.

Big Bro: (smiling) Good, ’cause that’s not what I usually hear!

Me: Haha! You’re too funny. What do you usually hear?

Big Bro: Just that J can be a handful sometimes.

Me: Well he was great today. Promise.

Big Bro: Did J do anything with forks?

Me: Umm, what?

Big Bro: Did J do anything with forks? Like steal them? Put them behind his back?

Me: No…

Big Bro: Did he strangle anyone with a snake?

denim snake

Really cute until it’s crushing your carotid. (Photo credit: lorigami)

Me: (slowly shutting door and preparing to lock) Uh, nope, no choking. No reptiles. He was good.

Big Bro: (giggling) Okay, great. The other day he strangled me with a snake and I thought my face was turning purple. I’m glad he didn’t do it here.

Me: Umm, nope, okay then, bye!

Disclaimer: He was totally discussing brother antics with toys in their house. But it was too funny that a) he was talking to me like a little man, and b) he may have given the impression to the unsuspecting caretaker that his little brother should be monitored closely. At all times. And kept away from sharp objects.

Kids say the darndest things.


About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

3 responses »

  1. Hahahaha, this totally made me laugh on several levels. 1)expecting Chernobyl after exiting the bathroom, 2) a little fella talking like a grown up and 3) Stealing sharp objects and strangulation with toy snakes.


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