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Parenting FAIL Friday – Why it’s never safe to make fun of someone’s age.

I recently turned 30. Don’t worry. I received some anti-wrinkle cream so everything is under control.

The Nerd and I had a date night. Bliss.

The kids made me super cute cards. Love.

And I visited with my family. Part of that visit was ice cream that was sort of ice cream cake-like. You’ll see what I mean. By the way, this week’s parenting FAIL wasn’t mine. It was my stepmother’s. Just for the record.

My step-mother thought it would be hilarious to put all 30 candles on the cake to rub in how old I am. She kind of insisted. We obliged.

Except that by the time you light 30 candles, they’re all starting to melt. All over the cake. Which is also melting. And then my aunt said, ‘Ooh look! They have little sparks!”

At this point I silently panicked because the only candles I’ve ever seen do that are trick candles. But I said nothing because the girls were singing to me and it was cute.

Cue the blowing out of the candles. And then blowing out the candles again. And one more time. And then this:

Me: They’re trick candles! They aren’t going to go out!

SM (stepmother): No they aren’t! I swear!

Me: Yes, they are! I’ve blown them out three times! Get some water!

Dad/Aunt/Uncle: Wait, what? They’re trick candles? What?

Me: YES! And the cake is melting! And *cough cough* there’s smoke everywhere!

SM: NO THEY AREN’T! They are NOT trick candles!!!

Me: YES. THEY. ARE!

Everyone: *coughing, running*

Me: I’m getting water! You have to get water to put them out!

Dad: No! Don’t put water on the cake! I’ll get them! *Blows out several candles. Pulls them out of melting cake. Candles relight. Hands are burning. Running to sink. More smoke*

Me: NO! Don’t grab them! They’re gonna relight! Dunk them in the bowl! DUNK THEM IN THE BOWL!!! I’m not pouring it on the cake.

Smush: Dis is for my hands? *plunges hands into murky burnt candle water*

Me: NO! No hands! Those are hot! Hot hot!

More smoke. More running. More burnt fingers. And SM is still in the background insisting that she didn’t buy trick candles. Uncle is simultaneously reading “trick candle instructions” right off the box.

Happy birthday to me.

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About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

4 responses »

  1. Oh, my gosh. I accidentally bought trick candles for my daughter on her 4th birthday. I was looking for candles in primary colors to match her lizard cake, and they were all pastel except for one package. I bought them, of course, never realizing until the poor child was standing red-faced and apoplectic over her melting volcano.

    I hope your SM bought them by accident!

    Reply
    • Haha! Oh, I hope your little girl wasn’t scarred. Also, did she actually have a volcano cake? Because that would be a little epic, I have to say. And yes, SM did it accidentally. Which made it funnier. The theatrics were one for the books. I wish I had a video camera.

      Reply
  2. Memories are made of this. Not all memories are bliss. Some of our memories are best if there has been a mess!

    Reply
  3. Memories are made of this. Not all memories are bliss. Some memories are of a mess. Seems like we remember the mess the best!

    Reply

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