Politics. Election. Debates. Name calling. I love election years.
Not at all. My personal political beliefs will never be shared on here, but here’s one thing I would love to shout from the rooftops: It is possible to run a campaign, and support a candidate, without slandering the opponent. Remember how in preschool we all learned to use nice words?
Anyway. While out to dinner with some fabulous ladies (by myself!), we got to talking about the election and how sick we are of all the nastiness. And a friend said (jokingly) that I should run for president. Which got me thinking about what my political platform would be.
- Goldfish should be a controlled substance.
- Mexico does it right. Siestas for everyone!
- When you leave the pediatrician’s office, all families are to be sent home with samples of children’s Benadryl. *Just in case*
- Mother’s Day and Father’s Day would include free coffee at the coffee house of your choice. No other gifts needed.
- Smoking would be banned in public parks. I take my kid to the park to get *fresh* air.
- Fast food chains would be replaced with raisin and water dispensers. And the begging on the ride home would cease. Amen.
- All grocery store checkout lines would be cleared of candy and stocked with cleaning supplies and books entitled, “100 Ways to Help Your Mom and Dad.”
- Mandated community service would include volunteering to clean parks, assisting in animal shelters, and putting my clean laundry away.
I think I could get a solid 1% of the vote. However, I will not be running for president. God help us if I was in charge of a country. I can barely keep my own living room clean.