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Kids say the dardnest (read: annoying) things.

Let me start this off with a disclaimer: Punkin is fabulous. In so many ways I can’t even count. And I kind of live for our mommy-daughter times. So there’s that.

But she has this one quality that, at times, can make anyone in a 50 foot radius want to drive a screwdriver through their ear be a little irritating.

She makes up words. Which is so cute and creative right? No. Not at all. Because she says them all. the. time. Over and over and over. And they never have an actual meaning (that I can discern) and she gets so hung up on them and then it’s impossible to just have a normal conversation with her and then I want to run far, far, away.


They’re always nonsense words. A few years ago it was ‘Zezelster.” And I would be like, “Do you want some more milk?” And she would be all, “Yes, zezelster Mommy!” Umm, okay then. Or she would be playing with her sisters and make up games like Zezelster horsie run, which consisted of tying them in a jump rope and dragging them around behind her.

Currently, we’re in a “Hermumphrienump” phase. So you can hear this accurately in your head: Her-mum-free-nump.

Example – Me: Punkin, I’m making pizza dough for tonight’s dinner. Wanna help?” Punkin: Hermumphrienump! Me: What the heck is that? Punkin: It means hooray.

And this doesn’t *seem* annoying until you’ve heard it over and over and your super intelligent daughter starts speaking like a cartoon alien all the freaking time.

This is all a precursor to share the following anecdote with you:

The other night, J-Money was here for a visit. Punkin loves J-Money. All my girls do. She’s totally the best-friend-aunt figure that buys cool presents and makes you laugh all the time. Punkin and J-Money were talking, and J-Money thought it would be awesome to share the “Ermahgerd” movement with her. In case you aren’t familiar, it started with this:

Ermahgerd Girl. Image via

People have made tons of memes with this image, most of them sporting the term “Ermahgerd!” which is supposed to be a phonetic spelling of someone saying “Oh my God!” with some speech impediment that I’ve never heard on an actual human. The meme is already overplayed and annoying.

Point being, J-Money thought Emma would get a huge kick out of it. Super. So now I would be able to hear her talk in the “Ermahgerd” voice all day long.

I pointed this out to J-Money later that evening, when Punkin was in bed, and the following conversation ensued:

Me: Umm, thanks a lot. As if the kid can’t come up with enough annoying words on her own.

J-Money: You’re welcome. I mean, I could have taught her the F-word. I kinda think I did you a solid.

Well played, J-Money. Well played.



About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

One response »

  1. hahaha I laugh every time I see the Ermahgerd girl!


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