If you’ve read any previous posts, or heck, even if you read the blog’s title, you know that this blog mostly centers around my epic failure in the parenting department. The fact that I can’t seem to keep my stuff together for more than 2.3 seconds at a time. The fact that I *still* don’t know how my kids make the messes they do in mere milliseconds. The fact that my sweet little Goo has me so utterly perplexed on a daily basis, I have to fight the fear that I’m failing her as a mom. And not just in the you-spilled-your-cereal-again way, but in the I’m-a-miserable-adult-thanks-to-you way.
Every once in a while, I seem to get it right. At least a little bit. And this week, that happened three times. That’s the kind of thing they give awards out for, people.
*WARNING* I’m going to brag on my kids now. Please don’t think I’m one of those moms who meets you and then spends the next 2 hours discussing her child’s natural-born ability to speak 5 languages fluently at the same time. If you think that, feel free to check out any of my Parenting FAIL Friday posts. You’ll feel much better.
With that being said…
Punkin is brilliant. We had report cards and parent/teacher conferences. And yes, I’m thrilled that in second grade, she reads at an 8th grade level. But here’s the kicker: my childhood wasn’t exactly idyllic. I had to grow up too fast, and face things some adults never encounter. So when we had kids, I knew that I wanted them to be just that: kids. Not in the sheltered – oh that mean boy took your sticker and I’ll never let anything bad happen to you again because he’s a big poopie head – way. More in the – I want you to live as a child should live, because life will force you to learn hard lessons, and I want you to grow and learn from them later on – way. During my conference with Punkin’s teacher, she went over all her academics, talked about her being gifted, and then said, “Punkin is such a joy. She just exudes happiness and life in everything she does. There’s this carefree way about her. She’s everything childhood should be.” I may or may not have teared up telling the Nerd about it. She’s everything childhood should be. Sometimes, I get it right.
And my little Goo. Goo is, underneath the terror, tantrums, defiance, and strong-will, a loving and compassionate child. She colored me a picture last week and gave it to me to hang on the fridge. The next day, we had the following conversation:
Goo: Mommy, I want to give that picture to somebody else.
Me: Oh? I really like this picture. You used such pretty colors. Who do you want to give it to?
Goo: Well, some kids don’t have toys or coloring books. I want to give it to one of them so they can color, too.
I wanted to stand on the roof and shout something insightful like, “I don’t always suck at this!” Because Goo may scream and cry and tell me I’m not fair and I’m not the boss, but by golly, she wants to give to those less fortunate than she is. And I will hang on to that glimmer of hope every time I sit there with her and think, “Now what?” Because every once in a while, I get it right.
And little Smush. Little Smush, who is sunshine personified, who smiles all day long, who is a walking embodiment of love and joy – she’s getting ready to use the potty y’all! I’m not going to push it, but the signs are there. Punkin and Goo both potty trained right after their second birthdays. I’m almost afraid to go 3 for 3.
But who knows? After this week, I’m totally on a roll.
Except for this week’s coming Parenting FAIL Friday post. It’s a doozy.