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Parenting FAIL Friday #3 – Laughing AT your kids, not with them.

A few weeks ago, the Nerd and I took Goo and Smush out for a bite to eat after church. Punkin has practice for the church Christmas play, so she missed out on our fine dinging experience because I haven’t gone grocery shopping and our lunch options at home were mustard and jelly sandwiches or dry cereal.

There’s kind of a hole-in-the-wall Italian joint near us that has beyond awesome food at McDonald’s prices. No joke. Enough linguine with red clam sauce for two meals, and at the price of a drive through “value” meal. They are amazing, and a favorite of ours for cheap dining out, when my children aren’t acting like a pack of rabid howler monkeys.

The restaurant has a bar attached, which you have to walk through to get to the dining area. The door leading in is made of glass. The Nerd was going to pay the check, so I took the girls to the lobby to look at the toys I never buy from those cheap quarter machines. However, Goo and I have been butting heads a lot lately, and she had been a particular breed of awesome in the restaurant, so I whipped out a quarter and made all of her little girl dreams come true: I bought her a bouncy ball.

She was so overwhelmed with joy, she spun around and ran straight away to tell the Nerd.

Straight into the glass door.

I’m talking full force frontal attack, nose first. I did what any loving mother would do:

I began laughing at her. Hysterically.

She started crying. I laughed harder.

At this point I look up and notice a large group of guys sitting at the bar, many of whom are also laughing. I then hear this, between Goo’s sobs:

Guy 1: Dude, stop laughing.

Guy 2: Nah man, it’s okay. Look, even the Mom is laughing.

*Side note: I really was holding her and trying to comfort her. I was just laughing at the same time.

I had to walk through the bar, at all the guys staring at me as I laughed uncontrollably at my crying daughter, to get to the swagger wagon. I scooped up Goo and Smush, and headed in, smiling and saying, “I know, I’m a terrible mother.”

I’m sure it’s not a big deal, but you know that some people out there – namely, the Mom critics – would be shaking their head in shame at my complete and utter lack of empathy. I’m sure someday in future therapy sessions, the story of my cold, calloused laughter will come out. In the mean time, I’m going to charge the battery on the video camera.

Because if Goo smacks her face like that again, I have to catch it on video.


About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

8 responses »

  1. HAHAHAH! this is just amazing! Poor Goo:( One day she will laugh and not cry, or at least cry and then laugh….You are teaching the invaluable lesson of not taking yourself seriously! poor, poor Goo! But this was a belly laughing story. Thank you for sharing sharing good humor at your daughter’s expense!!!:D

  2. I have done the very ssame thing!!! You always make me laugh when I need it the most:) Hey quick question…what is the name of the restaurant you are talking about?? Sounds like a good place to go.

  3. I once laughed when my daughter clothes-lined herself on a low cable when her bike slipped off the bike-path. I still laugh about it. It’s my human weakness.

    • Hahaha! I did that to myself last weekend on a laundry line while raking a family member’s yard. I cracked up at myself. I’m just one of those people that tends to laugh first, then see if the person is okay. It runs in my family.

  4. I just LOL at this. NOT at Goo or your laughing… just SO CAN RELATE! You can’t help but laugh. I feel ya girl! 🙂

  5. This post made me laugh so hard! Loved it, this happens all the time

  6. do you mind if i ask where this restaurant is, like the name and address, if you don’t want to reply publicly please inbox me, it sounds nice, i love italian food especially when it is yummy and cheap and the portions are big 🙂


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