Smush has been teething. And not just the little teeth where you get some drool and maybe a nice long nap out of the deal. She’s been working on molars, which means her hands have perpetually been in her mouth for the last 3 weeks, she’s had intermittent diaper rashes, a 3 day fever, and my favorite part – the whining.
I understand that for Smush, and many babies, teething is no fun. Their little bums can get sore, they get fevers, their gums hurt. The whining is perfectly excusable. Except Smush has developed this new kind of whining. It’s the most annoying sound in the world, not unlike Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber.
It sounds just. like. that. And my reaction is very similar, on the inside. If you throw the other two girls into the mix, I kind of become like the eye of a storm. It began with the whining, the tension builds as Mommy waits calmly, silently, and then the winds of frustration hit full force. But instead of debris being tossed around, the children are tossed into time-out, and I am left to pick up the shattered, broken pieces of what used to be my sanity.
Add to all this the fact that when Smush is teething, she doesn’t want to eat. Anything. Ever. She’s only in the 10th percentile for weight, and I kind of start to freak out when she doesn’t eat. All of this makes for a very stressed out Mom. I always psych myself up by reminding myself that it’s a few days of misery and then, ta da! New teeth and an increased capacity for chewing, which will inevitably lead to some much-needed weight gain for Smush.
Or not. She prefers the 3 days of fever/rash/ear-piercing screams, and then … nothing. No teeth. You can see it there, just below the surface of the gum. You can feel it, bulging, ready to break through, but no actual tooth eruption. She generally gets to repeat the cycle 3-4 times before a tooth actually emerges.
Mother Nature is a jerk.
Then I start thinking about how before she’s actually done teething, she has to get at least 20 teeth. That doesn’t include the molars and wisdom teeth that appear later. That means that twenty teeth, times three days of the most annoying sound in the world, equals 60 days of ear-piercing misery. Do you have any idea how much wine that is equivalent to?
And before you say it, I’ve tried:
- Wet wash cloths
- Frozen wash cloths
- Every teething toy ever made
- Soft books