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Strange animals, chocolate cake, and pillow fights.

I have a very dear friend, CoffeeMama, who has a son the exact same age as Goo. Well, technically they’re about 2 hours apart, but how crazy is that? We had just met when we found out we were both pregnant. And even though our due dates were about 3 weeks apart, she got induced about two weeks early, Goo was 8 days late because she loves pushing me to the absolute friggin limit, and they were both born on the same day. Yay for babies!

I am referring to this friend as CoffeeMama for two reasons. She shares my coffee obsession, which is part of why we’re such kindred spirits. (Side note: that just reminded me of that scene in Anne of Green Gables where Anne gets all intense and tells Diana that they’re now “bosom friends.” Anyway.) The second reason is that whenever I go over her house, she makes me delicious caffeinated beverages. She has a french press which makes awesome coffee, and an espresso maker which might as well pour out liquid gold in my opinion. It’s bliss.

This is what our get-togethers look like. Don't hate.

Her awesome son will be referred to as Crash. There are many reasons for this. He started walking at 7 months old. You read that correctly. Have you ever seen a 7 month old walk? They crash. A lot. He also has an energy reserve that actually surpasses Goo’s, which blows my mind and makes me eternally grateful that Goo still takes naps. Crash doesn’t. We thought for a while that maybe he was sneaking Mommy’s espresso, but I think he just has a metabolism that runs at a bajillion miles an hour. Yes, bajillion is a number.

The other reason his name is Crash is this: he is a sweet, funny, adorable ball of sheer destructive energy. He once threw a vase I inherited from my mother like a baseball and shattered it on the floor. He also pushed down so hard on my ottoman that he snapped the hinges. I’m telling you this because you need to understand that Crash is kind of like love, nuclear fusion, and a wrecking ball all thrown into one. And I just love him.

For several reasons, CoffeeMama and I didn’t get to hang out as much in recent days, so I was super excited when we made plans to do a play date and trip to the park together (in the swagger wagon!). And I was reminded of why we’re friends. There were multiple instances where she came out with a one-liner that made me laugh out loud and then immediately go, “I need to put that in a post.”

Scenario 1

Punkin had swim lessons in the morning, and as we were approaching the pool area, a family was walking with their small dog, not on a leash. The dog made a pit stop at his favorite tree, and this conversation ensued:

Crash: *running over to the dog*

CoffeeMama: Crash, NO! Do not go near the dog.

Crash: Why?

CoffeeMama: We do not approach strange animals.

Crash: But I like strange animals.

CoffeeMama: I do, too. That’s why I married your father.

Perhaps they should hang these at the park. Or in CoffeeMama's bedroom.

I kinda hoped that he went home that day and said something like, “Hey Dad, we played at the park. We rode bikes. There was a sprinkler. Mom thinks you’re an animal.”

Scenario 2

Some mutual friends of ours are getting married this year, and were talking about their soon to be newly wedded bliss, and how we’re trying to give them pointers on saving money, fighting fairly, making priorities, blah blah blah. You know, all that important stuff.

Me: They’ll be fine. They’re young, and excited, and they’ll make the same mistakes we did, looking back. But they’ll get through it, just like the Nerd and I.

CoffeeMama: You just sounded old.

(I really did though. If you didn’t know better, you would have thought it was some mother of 5 grown children who had been married for 40 years. Because clearly my 8 years of marriage and 3 kids under the age of 8 have made me an expert.)

Scenario 3

You know how as a parent, you always have to be on your toes? You have to be willing to always, always have a portion of your brain focused on your toddler and the possible destruction they are wreaking on their surrounding environment. I had the awesome idea to try this new 2 minute chocolate cake recipe I had found as a treat for the kids. I was especially excited because not only is it super easy to make, but it’s free of the things that make Goo’s head explode.

Crash: *holding a pillow and some cake*

CoffeeMama: Mmm, doyoulikechocolatecakestophittingGoowiththepillow! (That reads: do you like chocolate cake stop hitting Goo with the pillow!)

Hey, guys! I have a great idea! Let's go do this next to Mom's china cabinet!

I laughed out loud because she literally said that whole thing so fast it came out like one ginormous word, the way it has to when you try to do ANYTHING with a toddler around. For clarification, they were having a pillow fight previously, so he wasn’t being aggressive. It’s just that the kitchen isn’t the best place for a pillow fight, what with dishes being breakable and all.

But it was a glorious day. Sunshine, sprinklers, children playing nicely, a picnic under our big tree, chocolate cake. We even hit Starbucks for a little Mommy’s-only beverage stop. Oh, and the best part? Crash didn’t break anything. At least, not that I know of…


About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

One response »

  1. hahahahahah! this was great 🙂 made me laugh I heart you. and thanks for just being you.


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