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My new(ish) swagger (wagon).

If you haven’t seen those swagger wagon commercials, go watch one here. Immediately. I’ll wait for you to come back.


Isn’t it awesome? I flippin’ love that commercial. Because I’m totally the mom that tries to be cool, and only sort of pulls it off. Sometimes. I use phrases like, “swagger” and “legit,” which I only learned by listening to cool people talking, and trying to decipher the meaning from the context of their conversations.

So you know we have the three kiddos, and that going anywhere was kind of like a circus act because to buckle all three into the back seat of our sedan was sort of like using Cirque Du Soleil moves to pack sardines into a larger than life container. Until yesterday.

Drum roll please…

TADA! It’s my new(ish) family car! And I am in love. It’s not technically a swagger wagon, but I’ve got enough swagger for any wagon. It’s used, but whatevs. It’s new to me.

Here’s the thing: this minivan is kind of a miracle. We’re people of faith. Big faith. In a big God. And I’d been praying and asking for blessing in the form of a minivan. Because our budget for said minivan: $0.

Without divulging too much info, our budget is umm…tight. Tight enough that to get a new car we would definitely need to take out a loan. And by new car I mean something made by Matchbox.

I don't know why the bank laughed at us when we applied for an auto loan. These are some pretty fancy models.

Yet, through a variety of surprise events, here it is. My very own pseudo swagger wagon. And it. is. a. dream. It’s all fancy on the inside. It has dual side climate control, separate rear climate control, cruise control. It’s all about control. Except for that chick driving it. She’s kind of insane and just threatened to throw her water bottle at the kids if they don’t stop fighting over who gets to sit in the third row.  But here’s the best part:

I know. You’re like, “What?!? How sweet is that? ” When we first looked at this car, I saw that and told the Nerd that we need not look any further. He laughed. I think the presence of a purse hook is a perfectly reasonable criterion on which to base a car purchase. He disagreed.

I took a picture of myself standing next to it with the caption, “I’ve got enough swagger for any wagon.” And here’s my confession: after I posted it on facebook, I went inside and googled the definition of “swagger” to make sure I had used the term correctly. Sigh. It turns out I was correct, but I had to make sure. Because I’m cool enough to use the word, but not cool enough to actually know what it means. Or to ignore improper usage. According to Google, which is NEVER wrong, swagger is all about confidence. So yeah, I have enough swagger for this wagon.

I am confident in my faith.

I am confident in who my God is.

I am confident in who God made me (kind of. I’m getting there.)

I am confident in His provision. I’m telling you, it was impossible for us to purchase a minivan. Impossible. But I’ll be cruising to play dates in style, girlfriend.

So, yes I’m driving a minivan, which by any single person’s standards is, by definition, lame. But that van? Let me tell you, it’s got swagger. And that lady that’s gonna be driving it? She’s got some swagger, too.

About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

7 responses »

  1. Love it!!! Hahaha – I laughed outloud .. and the purse hook? Oooh yeah!

  2. Love the van!! Really praying for one myself!!

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  6. I happened upon your blog since a friend of mine posted that you needed to post/publish your blog or else she would and I must admit… I love your blog! I’ve read the post about Christmas and being broke (I think), the 411, and this swagger wagon post and I’m completely amused and I plan to come back to visit and read. I definitely laughed out loud with this one and want to go back and read it again to laugh more. Thank you for being so honest. You seem to have swagger to me. Lol.


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