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Bonfires, barbecues and laryngitis.

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A Roman Candle set off on Bonfire Night

Cue Mommy voice: Put it down, boys. NOW. Image via Wikipedia

This weekend was one of those that makes me sit back, let out a satisfied sigh, and think about how perfect my life is.

Okay, so that was a bit of a stretch. But it really was a great weekend. Saturday night we had a bunch of friends over for a bonfire in the backyard. The girls played outside. All. day. long. Which means, drum roll please …

My house is clean! Sort of. More so than usual. And the toys are picked up. Do I win something?

The fire was great. Good food, good friends, fresh air. The Nerd got to set off fireworks in the backyard. The ladies headed inside after a bit while the boys stayed outdoors and did stupid things like see who could hold the firework the longest before it exploded. Really? I would expect that from a 16-year-old whose mind is so flooded with testosterone that it becomes physiologically impossible to think clearly. But these guys are in their twenties and thirties. Sigh. They never grow up.

Memorial day consisted of a morning run in the aftermath of a downpour. Just enough drizzle to keep me cool, but not soaked. Perfect. I’m doing C25K to train for a 5k for charity. It’s awesome. Plus, my last running segment was on a huge hill and I survived it. So I think I should win something again.

Post-run, Punkin and I went to Target where I found that sun-dresses are ridiculously priced and I think I’m going make my own out of pillowcases. But it was a Mommy-daughter outing nonetheless, and therefore wonderful. We rounded out the day with a family get together with my in-laws: the Nerd’s mom, dad, sister, brother, sister-in-law, their three kids, aunt, uncle, aunt’s mom, plus our crew of crazies. The kids played, the sisters sat and talked, and it was wonderful.

Where, you ask, does laryngitis fit in to all this? Goo was singing into one of those echo microphones at the in-laws. I noticed her voice had become increasingly raspy throughout the day, and then remembered why:

Saturday kicked off our glorious weekend with a trip to my family’s house. Where Goo pitched such a fit, she caused her voice to go on hiatus. I put her in time-out for something, I can’t even remember what now. She sat up, made two fists, held her arms in front of her, bent at the elbow, and proceeded to usher in the weekend with a fit that could have shattered a light bulb. “I want to get out… RIGHT! NOOOOOOOWWWWW! RIGHT!!! NOOOOWWWW!!!” This went on and on for 3 minutes. And not even joking, her veins were literally bulging out of her neck. Her face was candy apple red. I really should have video taped it. Because that’s what empathetic moms do – video tape their children’s emotional turmoil for their blog.

Image via

I searched “toddler tantrum” and got the above picture in the results. That is not a tantrum. That is a child doing a pilates move while yawning. These people have clearly never witnessed Goo as she is expressing her inner turmoil.

My aunt had to leave the room because she was both in shock, and laughing hysterically. I don’t know many moms that get concerned about their children’s blood pressure, but I was. Her veins were pulsating. That can’t be good.

Thus far I’ve never used un-retouched photos of the family on this site. Someday, I may break my own rule and put up a video just so you can see the utter terror that is a Goo tantrum. But despite literally screaming loud and long enough to damage her own vocal cords, the girls had a fabulous weekend. We all did. So much so that the Nerd ended the night saying, “Someday, we’ll have plenty of money. And we can take days like this whenever we want.”

Sounds good to me, babe. But can we skip the laryngitis-inducing fits?





About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

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