Warning: If poop and/or pee make you squeamish, this post is not for you. Actually, if poop and/or pee make you squeamish, parenting may not be for you.
Once potty training is successful, your child has a brand new venue in which to make startling observations and discoveries. She then has the joy of the sharing them with you in great detail.
Goo has been potty trained for a year, but is now getting descriptive with each event. It’s no longer, “Mommy! I did poo poos! I need help to wipe!” Now I get:
Mommy! I did REALLY BIG poo poos! They’re REEEAAALLLLYYY BIG! Whoa, look at that one! I need help to wipe, please.
Sigh. The “joys” of motherhood, indeed. But, my diaper budget is now cut in half, so I guess I can’t complain too much. I can deal with the size desciptors. Unfortunately, once they start observing, they just keep going. I blame myself for that. Science geek that I am, I encourage their observations of the world. It’s a crucial step in the scientific method. I just wish they didn’t have to share every observation.
Our most recent potty conversations happened after Goo consumed half a watermelon in one day. I bought it thinking that last summer I always threw out half the watermelon because it went bad before it was eaten. The tides have changed, my friends. Last summer, Goo was still a non eater. Thankfully, we conquered that stage (if you have an extremely picky eater, keep your eyes open. I have lots of tricks up my sleeve for that one). Anyway. Now she’s a great eater, and she loves fruit. Hence consuming 3 lbs in one day.
I thought to myself, “This is fantastic! Think of all the lycopene she’s getting!” Lycopene is a powerful antioxidant that combats nasty molecules called free radicals that cause cell damage in the body. And yes, I actually thought that while she was eating it. I should just give in and buy a pocket protector and join the AV club.
Lycopene content: awesome. Watermelon on the way out: not so awesome.
During a potty trip later, I had the following conversation:
Goo: Mommy! I did poo poos!
Me: Okay, I’ll come help you wipe.
Goo: Mommy, c’mon! It changed colors! My poop changed colors, Mommy! It’s red! Come and see!
Me: … Okay, Goo, let’s get you cleaned up.
Goo: Mommy, see, Mommy? It’s colors. It’s red! It’s really red!
I repeat: The “joys” of motherhood.
Yesterday morning, we had this conversation:
Goo: Mommy, I need to go pee pee.
Me: Okay, let’s go. *Goo is on the potty*
Goo: Look, Mommy! I’m raining! I’m raining a LOT! I’m making BIG puddles!
Goo: Oh! I stopped raining. All done rain.
I guess I should be proud that she’s making analogies?
I’m so completely thrilled to not be buying diapers for two kids anymore. But sometimes, I kind of wish she couldn’t see it. As parents, we pretend to be interested in so many, many things that we couldn’t care less about. Dora. The shape of your pasta. Poop. But now, I’m writing it down so
I can hold this over your head as a teenager and threaten you with utter embarrassment when you roll your eyes at cleaning your room you can look back and see how loving and supportive I was.