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Top ten signs you’re not ready for another baby.

I am beyond blessed by my girls. Seriously. They are A.MAZ.ING. So amazing that people often feel the need to urge me to further contribute to humanity by having another one. Right now. There are many reasons I know that this is a bad, bad idea. At least for the time being. So without further ado:
The Top Ten Signs You’re Not Ready For Another Baby
  1. Your friend, who is mom to a 2 month old, says she needs a favor. You pray that she needs you to donate your kidney. Because spending a few days in the hospital is practically a spa vacation. And you wouldn’t have to babysit.

    OMG. They even bring you your own private pitcher of water? AND you can just press a button and your own personal servant comes to meet your every need? Yes. Anybody need a kidney?

  2. You see pictures of your friend’s newest addition. You think simultaneously, “She is beautiful,” and, “Dear God, please don’t let my birth control fail me now.”
  3. Spring cleaning brings you to the baby section of the basement, where the bassinet, newborn clothes, and swing are all stashed. Many people look on and reminisce about days gone by. You look on and think, “I wonder how much I can get for that at the tag sale?”
  4. You are counting down the days to preschool. Two days a week, three hours a day. That’s like 6 cups of uninterrupted coffee drinking a week. Score.
  5. Your husband looks at you amorously, confessing his undying devotion to you, and reminding you that no matter what changes, you are always, always beautiful. The first phrase that pops out of your mouth is, “No glove, no love.”
  6. You just got back into your pre-pregnancy jeans. ‘Nuff said.

    Leave the breast pump at home. Youre free!

  7. When your girlfriend invites you out for drinks, you shout “HECK YES WHOA!” because you are neither pregnant nor nursing, and can now down six 2 bikini martinis without having to pump and dump. Bliss.
  8. People ask how you ever manage to put your adorable baby down. You secretly think about how “tummy time” is your favorite activity. Ever.
  9. Someone kindly tells you that you’re such a great mom, you should have another one. Homicidal thoughts enter your mind.
  10. One of two scenarios applies to you: you just finished weaning, and your boobs are totally your own for the first time in…forever. Or you just switched to cow’s milk/soy milk/almond milk and are no longer spending the national deficit in formula. Keep padding that wallet.
Photo credits: fiscalfizzle.com and searchamelia.com, respectively.
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About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

3 responses »

  1. Kristin Brænne

    ★★★★★

    Reply
  2. Oh how true this is.

    Reply
  3. Ha HAHHAAAA! Loved it!

    Reply

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