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Mom Brain.

It occurred to me the other day that moms have a particularly unique thought patter. The infinite one. No matter what we are doing/thinking/planning, our brains are just go go go. Wake up in the middle of the night because the husband is snoring – first thought is, “I will kill you in your sleep if you don’t shut up.” Second thought is, “Speaking of sleeping, I need to wash all the bedding.” Kind of like the energizer bunny, only he doesn’t cook/clean/wash dishes/do laundry/teach abc’s/drive to play practice/change diapers/replace light bulbs/keep the wood stove burning/give baths/drink wine. It would be awesome if he did all those things. I would totally hire him. Except for the wine drinking part. I’d have to share, and I’m just not sure I’m okay with that.

You best not be telling ME to keep going. Arrogant little pink wine stealer.

I realized the mad ramblings that daily occupy my brain, and thought it might be entertaining to jot them down. And so, for my your amusement:

Mom Brain

It’s early. Too early. I don’t want to get up yet. But I have to get up because Goo needs milk in a sippie cup and the baby’s going to wake up soon, and then Punkin will wake up and she has to get ready for school. What am I packing her for school? She bought school lunch yesterday so I don’t want to do that again because it’s not nutritious enough. Nutrition…

What do I have that’s nutritious? I bought hummus at the grocery store. Punkin likes hummus. I should buy more. Except Daddy went to the store last night and I didn’t put hummus on the list and I also forgot to add laundry detergent and now I can’t wash the bedding or the high chair cover. The high chair cover is so gross. So is the high chair. What’s the best way to clean a high chair? Maybe if I just stick the whole thing in the shower and turn it on super hot and let it loosen the gunk, I can just wipe it off. I need to clean the shower too. What works best at removing soap scum? Is that even soap scum, or is it hard water stains? Hard water…

I read an article about mineral build up in food and drinks and in the body because  of hard water. I should get a water filter. But our water filters have to be replaced so frequently because our hard water is practically solid there are so many minerals in it. That can’t be good. Maybe I can get one of those pitchers that you fill and put in the fridge. The fridge is so packed though. I need to clean out the fridge. I don’t even know what’s taking up all that space, and if we have people over for dinner and I need to store things there’s no where to put it. Dinner guests…

I have to call L and she if she and J want to stay for dinner tomorrow and then come to the service at church. L is coming tomorrow, so I need to clean. How does the whole house get dirty in one day? Because Goo pulls out toys everywhere is getting better at putting them away since we started working on it but Smush is in that stage where pulling things out of containers is super awesome and Punkin is just a natural-born mess maker and then it’s like 3 against 1 and I can’t keep up with it all, especially when I have extra laundry to do like the bedding and high chair cover, which I can’t do because I forgot to put laundry detergent on the shopping list for Daddy. Daddy…

Daddy has a meeting tonight. No he doesn’t, that’s Tuesday. I have to work tonight. And I have to find out when the parent night at Punkin’s school is rescheduled for because they canceled because of the snow we never got and we had already gotten a substitute teacher for the class we teach at church and now we may have to get another substitute but that will be hard because we already missed a week and what are the chances of someone being free next week too? That means Punkin can’t go and she’ll be so disappointed. Unless one of us teaches class and the other one takes Punkin to the school thing, which is all assuming that the school thing is on the same night as the class thing which I don’t even know yet because they canceled because of the snow we never got. Why are we still getting snow in spring? It’s spring…

Spring means it’s almost April, which means it’s almost Goo’s and Smush’s birthdays, which means I need to start making more solid plans for their party. We’re sticking with the animal theme because they both like animals. I don’t think we can do a family party and a kid party so we’ll just do a family party with some fun decorations and a game or two, and maybe I can turn the playroom into a jungle and the kids can go on a safari hunt for animals unless the older kids won’t like it but maybe I can hide tiny animals so it’s challenging and more like an “I Spy” type thing and also I need to plan the menu and figure out the ultramegasuper low budget on which I’m going to do all this plus buy presents and what am I going to buy Smush who will be 1 and likes pulling things out of containers? Smush will be 1…

That means I need to schedule her 1 year check up which I already scheduled but did I put it on the calendar? I have to check that and also check to see when Goo’s 3 year check up is and now I remember they had to schedule them like 3 days apart which is really annoying because then I have to load them and drive 25 min to the doctor’s twice in one week and I don’t have a swagger wagon so buckling them in is super frustrating and maybe they had a cancellation and can fit them in on the same day so I don’t have to do that unless I get a swagger wagon before then. Swagger wagon…

I would totally do separate pediatrician visits if I had one of these. I would also make this gesture while driving so everyone would look and think, "Wow. She's got swagger."

Did Daddy ever get the info on that used minivan and how many miles it had and stuff like that and I do even want to go the used minivan route because that would mean taking out a loan on our already ultramegasuper tight budget and I don’t know if that’s a good idea because what if it breaks down and it needs so many repairs that it’s not worth it but we’re still paying on the loan and then we’re stuck except Daddy said it’s in impeccable condition and the owner will do a full tune up and took good care of it so that makes a difference and maybe it could work. Work…

It would be awesome if this was my job because the I could get paid for writing incoherent nonsense and escaping from my children for a few minutes and actually make money which we need and Daddy wouldn’t have to work extra jobs and could get more sleep and sleep…

Zzzzzzzz

3:30 AM. Smush is awake. I need to go check on her. Or maybe I should wait and see if she’ll just find her blanket and go back to sleep, but her blanket is so dirty and I need to wash it except I can’t wash it because I’m out of laundry detergent because I forgot to put it on the list for Daddy.

The end. Of my post. Not my thought pattern.

To all you moms who’s mental mommy marathons sometimes keep you up at night, I salute you.

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About Mediocre Mom

I am a wife to the man who was made for me, and mom to three amazing girls: Punkin is eight, Goo is four, and Smush is two. I'm a Christian, a science geek, and completely addicted to coffee. Trying to stay sane one day at a time. Lowering the bar for moms everywhere.

4 responses »

  1. LOL! I feel the same, this mommy brain makes us pretty hard to concentrate!

    Reply
  2. Kelly Sexton

    owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    Reply
  3. Pingback: I’m back – with mediocre tidbits. « Confessions of a Mediocre Mom

  4. Pingback: Why won’t they let me sleep? | Confessions of a Mediocre Mom

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